Equine Voices Podcast

Interview with Carla Bauchmueller - The Intuitive Rider

June 23, 2022 Ronnie King Episode 44
Equine Voices Podcast
Interview with Carla Bauchmueller - The Intuitive Rider
Show Notes Transcript

Interview with Carla Bauchmueller - The Intuitive Rider
I am very pleased to announce an interview with Carla Bauchmueller from California USA.

Carla uses her intuitive and professional skills to help horse and rider connect on a deeper level by listening to each individual and developing exercise specifically for each person and horse to aid them in their mindset.

It was interesting to hear how her love of horses when she was a child, has developed into the career she has carved out for herself and continues to do so.

Join us both in an informal chat about Carla's life, love and our mutual passion for horses.

So sit back , relax and I hope you enjoy this episode.

Carl Bauchmueller.
I am passionate about helping women over 40 to be able to connect to their horses on a soul level, in the saddle and on the ground.

What I find is that they are sometimes afraid of their horse and don’t understand what their horse want to tell them. What they really want is to truly connect and spend harmonious and fear-free time with their horse.

I help these riders find a safe, balanced and well-coordinated seat, so that they can find subtle communication and deep connection with their horse when riding.

I help them to understand themselves better – physically, mentally, and emotionally – so that they can connect with their horse on a deeper level, and become The Intuitive Rider they and their horse want them to be.

My goal is to develop individual solutions which make learning fun and enjoyable for both, horse and rider, independent of discipline and level of experience.
For more information about Carla and her work, click on the links below.
https://theintuitiverider.com
https://www.facebook.com/carla.bauchmueller

Interview: video version
https://youtu.be/lxrrnl4o-NM
https://www.facebook.com/equinevoices.co.uk

Video version (alongside applicable podcasts) can be viewed on facebook and YouTube.
https://www.facebook.com/equinevoices.co.uk
https://www.youtube.com/@equinevoicesuk
https://www.instagram.com/equinevoices.uk

Contact Ronnie.
mailto:equinevoicesronnie@gmail.com


Ronnie:

Hi everybody my name's Ronnie from equine voices and tonight's special guest, I hope I pronounce this correctly is Carla Bauchmueller so I do apologize if I said that's wrong. Carla is from San Francisco bay in California. What I'll do is introduce her and then she can explain exactly what she does with horses and how she got into her particular field of work. So hi Carla welcome to equine voices.

Carla:

Hi Ronnie, hi everybody, I'm so happy to be here, you were doing pretty good with pronouncing my last name. I know it's, it's not that easy. So, so yeah, my name is Carla and my last name is Bauchmueller and yeah, it always gives me a way. So I grew up in Germany I live in the San Francisco bay area now, but I grew up in Germany and yeah, my, my last name, you know, it has a bit of a funny story because Bauch actually means belly and mueller means Miller. And it doesn't really mean anything. Those two words together in German either, but I find it's so funny that I have the word belly in my last name, because all my work is actually around centering, finding your body, finding your belly, really connecting to this parts of yourself as a rider and a person. So it's kind of fitting that. I have this in my last nickname.

Ronnie:

So would you like to explain first of all, what you do exactly for people that don't know you, if you explain what sort of work you do with horses and then how you got into horses was it from a young age or was it later in life?

Carla:

Yeah. So I work mainly with female horse riders over 40, who own their own horses and want to become more balanced and more confident and more connected really with their horses in the saddle. So I'm really focusing on the riding part where it's really about the rider in the first place. So we are taking the horses out of the equation and we're really working on position in the saddle posture movement, but also how do I connect with the horse, what do I exactly need to do with my pelvis what's really happening underneath me. How do I really feel this? How can I really change things inside of myself to become the best rider and horse person I can be for my horse, because I think that the horses are really benefiting when we get better in the saddle right. When we do not need to pull on the reins. And when we do not bang into their backs just, you know, so much nicer for the horses. So this is what I'm focusing on and I use different techniques. I am a centered riding clinician. So Sally Swift's work was uses a lot of imagery and things like this, but I also, I grew up in Germany, as I said, and started horse riding there on lesson horses. And you know, it was kind of tough because these lesson horses, they would bolt and they would buck and they would do all kinds of things with us. And so it was mainly about hanging on and I have to say, I was quite afraid of my lessons. You know, I saved all my money up to actually be able to do these lessons, but I was afraid of the yelling instructor. I was afraid of these bolting and bucking horses, but you know, it didn't stop me. I still wanted to do it. And I went as often as I possibly could. But what I also found then is that the instructions that I got weren't really helpful. You know, we got yelled at a lot, like sit up straight and heels down and things like that. And I so badly wanted to become a good rider because I felt I was harming the horses. And I was really guilty about like sometimes pulling on the reins and doing all kinds of things where I felt when I got off the horses at the end of the lesson, I sometimes felt I needed to apologize to the horse. And that felt really painful as a, as a teenager. And as much as I loved riding, I did not want to harm the horses, but I felt that the instructors weren't really helpful. And then we had an assistant instructor one day and I was really, I had a really slouch position as a teenager. I'm, I'm really tall and you know how tall girls don't really want to appear tall? So I was slouching and plus I really was fearful. So I was just really in this fear position in the saddle. So I was always slouching and everybody had always told me, sit up straight, sit up straight. I didn't really manage to do that and that assistant trainer lengthen your tummy. And I thought oh, lengthen your tummy right, that really made sense to me, it made sense to me in a very different way and my body could do it. And it really changed things instantly. Like in the moment I could sit differently, I could feel myself differently and lengthen the tummy is not even the most genius imagery in the world, but it really helped me. And it was such a simple thing that changed something that I had worked on for years. It changed it in one instant. I was like, wow this really cool and you know, I was like, oh, I think I wanna be an instructor one day that can do something like that, right that can use imagery and that can actually show the rider how to change the position in this way. And then just really communicate with the horse in such a different way. So, yeah, so fast forward, I did a little detour. I studied economics, so I've got a master's degree in economics which I didn't really do anything with, honestly but then I wanted to go back to my childhood dream of working with horses and rider. And so I took a two year full time apprenticeship to really get started in also being able to teach clinics and really learn about how to use imagery, how to really work with the rider. Because I always find when we do something with a rider, then something in the horse changes. So I call this the feedback loop, right? Something in the horse change when the rider sits better and communicates better and then we have a different feedback from the horse so we can adjust what we do again. So it's this nice constant communication from one body to the other body, like our body to the horse's body, our minds to the horse's mind and our emotions with the horse's emotion. So this constant communication, conversation, that's going on, on this no mind level. So. I've been really passionate about the sins and teaching it and enjoying my clientele, which is, I said like women, 40 plus they want this right. They want to feel themselves more and I work with all levels and all disciplines, because we're all like two legged people on four legged horses right. So it's kind of the same thing, no matter what saddle we are using and then, you know, just a couple of things that I did after. So I actually went through the German trainer licensing levels up to the trainer, I did the center riding certification and I am also yoga and meditation instructor. And I use regression techniques in life coaching context that I also use with horses. So I've done. Like a lot of training myself throughout the years, I've been doing this professionally for 30 years, but I see myself as a lifelong learner. I've just signed up for another training again, you know I just always want to add things and always find it really interesting and these nuances. You know, you are an animal communicator and the nuances of really communicating on a physical level with our bodies, but also feeling what is the horse feeling. And these things just fascinate me, you know, those deep, deep connections.

Ronnie:

I loved that when you talked about elongating your spine in your stomach, I did that as soon as you said that and I thought, oh yes, because when you get nervous, you restrict your body and of course it makes your breathing more shallow in your diaphragm. So when you did that I felt taller, which for me is a godsend cause I'm only five foot in a little bit so any extra length BodyWise is brilliant for me. So you talked about meditation that you do with your clients. So can you explain a little bit more on how you do that? Do you do that with the clients individually?

Carla:

I've been a meditation instructor for now, I think like 15 years or so. And I teach third eye meditation and I teach also just meditation clinics or workshops like weekend workshops for people who don't have anything to do with people with horses. But what I do with my clients is I work with them on different levels of getting meditation, mindfulness more into their lives. And one is where, when people are in my subscription based membership, we do mindfulness and meditation classes once a month. And these are not necessarily a third eye meditation. These are just like some relaxation exercises. So I keep it more accessible. So that people can really be present with their horses and with themselves, and learn to meditate, but also meditate with their horses, like heart to heart connection that we can create through being in this no mind state that meditation really provides. So I do that and then in my smaller group programs, I also teach third eye meditation, but you know, I really see meditation as on the one hand, calming your mind going inside, feeling yourself more, really getting away from these repetitive thoughts that we have all day long and that keep us from feeling right from feeling ourselves, from feeling the environment, from feeling other people. So, you know, we are kind of in this cloud of thoughts all day long and meditation helps you to really calm this right and make it clearer, make this big cloud that we are in more transparent. Right? So that's what meditation does in general but what I find when we use that for ourselves as horse riders, it not just helps us stay a little calmer inside, but it also opens a door to communication and feeling the horses. Cause I feel that I'm preaching to the choir when I talk to you about this right and probably some of the listeners too. But it's a sense of that the horses kind of hear, quote, unquote, hear your thoughts, right? You might appear quiet and you might appear calm. You might even appear present, but in your mind, you are thinking about your grocery list and I need to get this, what I'm doing here, etc I need to talk to this friend and so we've got all these things going on in our heads which are not visible from the outside but I feel that the horses kind of quote unquote, hear them. They perceive this cloud of thoughts that we are stuck in and that separates us from, from them. And they want us to be quiet. You know, I sometimes feel like they're like, come on, shut up. Right. you know, can you just be quiet, can you just be with me and there's no mind state that I am in and can we connect on this level? Especially when I come back from longer meditation retreats and I find that I've quieted my mind down even more than usual, the horses are more attracted to me, now, when I teach a group of people and let's say just standing close to a horse, I can feel how they are coming closer to me and not trying to get treats or anything from me, they're just trying to connect. So sneaking come a little closer, drop their heads and just want to be in my presence and I think that's because I was able to shut this brain up for a moment and just be, be quiet and be really more accessible for the horses too.

Ronnie:

Yes. It's about being present. I had to laugh when you said talking to me as if I know it all I certainly don't. But it is funny it's very different when I see a client and their horse than it is with my own. You go back into autopilot. However, saying that I've been really working the last few months more so on being really conscious of my thoughts and where that takes me, especially external influences and things that happen to you. So just a little example, my horse is not near me, so I need transport to go see her and about three, four weeks ago now something happened to my car and it didn't pass its MOT so all of a sudden I had no car and now normally not get into my horse is a big trigger for me and I get really anxious. Anxious is the wrong word. I just don't like that space, I feel like I've abandoned her, so it normally is a big trigger now because of what I've been doing. Yes, it was initially okay but I didn't allow myself to go down my normal route and I stayed as much as centered as I could. That doesn't mean to say that I fluctuated cause I did, but it wasn't like it normally is. So that's a big difference for me in working with your own energy in your own mindset and just being aware of not focusing on the things that you can't do anything about, but focus on the other things. And I try and find the positive bits in that and because of that, I've had lifts to work. I've had people helping me. The energies flowing back to me because I've not stopped it by being in that wrong mindset, wrong energy field. Now, when you work with horses, when you're communicating, they recognize your energy and it's your energy that they pick upon. So, as you said earlier that they read your thoughts, they read your energy and they read it so quickly, even when you're not there they can feel that and you can feel the distance between you when you interact on that level with a clearer mind, a more balanced state and you're going about your day to day stuff. The horses want to interact with you because they recognize that calmness, they feel it, and they see that And the more you can stay in that place, it's not gonna be a permanent place. The more you can stay in that centered and not get the big roller coasters, the more they will interact with you and you notice it when you come out of it. The, the gap between what you knew before and what, you know, now is more noticeable because you've experienced the calmness does that make sense?

Carla:

Yes, yeah it's just a different level of connection that you're creating, right? Yeah. It's really, there's like no mind connections. Yes you were saying like feeling each other, right. It's really much more on this feeling level and then it's also, I always find important that you don't grasp on it. Right. Where you think like, oh God, I'm thinking again, what's happening and then we start beating ourselves up because we are thinking and that's, it's so easy to do. And it's really easy to do for my clientele, like women, 40 plus to beat themselves up for things that are not working. And I'm also focusing, as you were saying, I'm focusing on the positive things, but in a way of looking at the things that are already working, like in the connection, in the communication, in your riding really taking a moment to feel and appreciate those moments where you feel, oh, now I'm connected and just allow internal celebration of these moments where you feel like, ah, yeah, I'm feeling my horse. I'm feeling that connectedness on the ground or in the saddle. I have this moment where a movement feels like we are one and then maybe it's just a split second and then you lose it and always say, that's part of the game too. We're finding it, we're losing it but focusing on these joyful moments of these moments where we are actually experiencing it, and then we are losing it okay. You know, we'll find it again. Right.

Ronnie:

Exactly and like you said, not beating yourself up when your mind drifts off, cuz it will do it will do quite often and the more you play around with it, the more you notice that and again, you think I'm doing it again, but it's just allowing the thought sometimes to just come in, but don't, don't overanalyze it just allow it to flow and to flow back out again. Yeah, it's, it's really interesting and the more you work on yourself, the more you see how your external world changes around you and horses are amazing instant communicators in whatever they do. And sometimes they might be having an off day. We have to remember that sometimes we can look for things that aren't actually there. We get hooked on that nice feeling sometimes that when you're learning, you think this is lovely. This is very euphoric, this is what the all talk about, I'm connected and then something might happen and you're going, oh God, what we done now, what did I do. It might be that actually, they're just dealing with their stuff or just getting through their day and you've got to allow that and not take that personally and just get on with your day and try and not get emotional just say, okay that's you and not get an emotion because they can go, okay she's okay, she's not fluctuating, she's fine, can rely on that person.

Carla:

Not taking things personally cause we take so many things personally in our lives where okay. Someone is saying something to us and we think like, oh of God, I've done something wrong or something wrong with me, something like that. And with horses we do too and they don't mean it personally, as we are saying, they just do their thing and yes you are at the receiving end of that thing that they are doing but yeah it's really not about taking it personally. I think the horses are really teaching us that as well to really be more ourselves, be really clear with what we are doing and what we are wanting on the one hand but when things go wrong And the horses react in a certain way, not taking it personally, you were saying with the thoughts, how we let them come and let them go, we cannot really fight them. We let them just go through and I find it's true as well with moments where it's not really working that well, right. It's like, okay, you going with that? There will be a moment where it's going to happen again. Right. So it's very easy to then start grasping for these good moments or for these quiet moments and this act of grasping is not going to help. We have to stay fluid and go with emotions and then yes, focus more on the positive things, but you don't wanna grasp for the positive things because then they are less likely to be there.

Ronnie:

You get excited when you get something, you get excited and you want to tell everybody else about it Because you're so excited and cause you felt what it does but then they might not see it from your point of view or might not be in that same space at that time. And then you think, oh, they're not getting it, you just have to enjoy it for what it is and enjoy that feeling and that connection. So Carla, a client comes along to you. What's the first thing you do. Do you do clients over zoom as well?

Carla:

I do. So I teach clinics and I also teach different types of programs online and in person and I've been teaching online since 2016. So not just through COVID right. So I've started teaching online and I feel it has really a lot of advantages because first of all, you can record it, when we do things on zoom, we can record these things and people can go back to it and watch it again. So you've got something that you can really go back to and then you can pause it, the recording and go back to what you just heard and try it again and I do a lot of work in the living room on the chair, or sometimes we grab a yoga mat or we stand up and walk around, so I do a lot of work with people on the ground without the horses. I find that there's so much that you can learn for yourself that the horses really benefit from because oftentimes when we keep practicing things and sometimes we think we have to just keep riding, keep practicing and the hours in the saddle will someday get us there. But what happens is, first of all, when you're practicing in the saddle and you're practicing the wrong things, not good for your horse and you don't really want to use your horse as that practicing tool, that's the one thing, but you also end up practicing mistakes, right? You end up practicing the same thing over and over, when you do not find that moment of really change inside of you. This example that I said earlier with this assistant trainer telling us this lengthening of the tummy, which made that click for me and I'm really working towards getting people to have this click in their body and that is something that you can do on the chair. For instance a more center position of the pelvis. So I can really talk with people about where the pelvis really is, what it looks like. I have a little skeleton that I can show them and then we actually put our hands under the seat bones and feel where the seat bones actually are. And where is the hip joint and what movement does it exactly have to do? And what's the movement that we are feeling in the horses. So we go into these things so that it can click with the rider, with the person in the living room, on the chair, or while walking around and next time they're riding, they can start practicing the right things. And even if you have a good instructor, your instructor might not have the time to really explain all these things to you and then when you've done these things in the living room and your instructor says something to you, you have a way to translate what your instructor says. If your instructor says sit up straight, you might think oh, I have to get my pelvis into a center position. Right and then you might remember the things that I use, where I talk about like a pelvis bowl and a dragon tail and things like that so I have a whole language around the terminology, around these things that I can then use with my clients, where we use imagery and things like that, that they can use for their riding and even when they're working with the instructors, like have a translator basically and understanding what your body really needs to do. I find that saves you time, but it also saves the horses because we don't have to practice that all in the saddle and it gives you time to really just focus on yourself. And then it's the physical component, but it's also the emotional component, as we were saying earlier, when you're slouching, yes it's bad posture but oftentimes comes with the emotion of fear or anxiety or something like that, so the emotional side of that comes in as well. And we can really experience that when we are in the living room, when we are actually finding a center position of the body and go like, oh, that actually feels different. Oh, that's new. That actually feels good. Also allowing ourselves to really get used to a new way of moving a new way of holding ourselves and moving away from the old habits that can have a really big pull, right? The old habits, we always wanna fall back into those. So making those new habits, new ways of moving attractive and then you can basically practice that 24 7. You can practice good riding you can practice that while you're walking from the living room to the kitchen, when you're holding yourself in a certain way, when you're feeling your movement in a certain way and then you go like, oh, my body can actually do it, can enjoy this type of movement and then you can use it for riding so it's not just the 45 minutes that we might be sitting in the saddle once a day.

Ronnie:

That makes perfect sense, so your muscle memory will have a better understanding before you come to sit on your horse and doing the same exercises because sometimes it's just repetition. You're not actually thinking of what you're doing, what's your body doing, what's the horse's body doing. If you explain it, it can make more sense of why you are doing something. Most of learning we get told to do something because that's the way it is, we don't actually think, if we did that, that will do that but you just do it don't you

Carla:

I've called my business, the intuitive rider because I find that people sometimes do the right things and we've got these moments where you go like, oh, that was actually a beautiful moment of connection or where I found balance or something like that and I see my work in making these moments, these kind of intuitive moments make them more repeatable, making people understand what was really happening to them and really getting closer to what their intuition might also tell them about their feeling about their horses and about that connection. So yes I think there's a lot about being able to feel ourselves and then taking that to the horses. Mm.

Ronnie:

So tell us a little bit about a younger Carla, when you was a little girl. What was the things that excited you especially around horses, what was your dreams then?

Carla:

Yeah as I said, I was limited to lessons with horses at that time and I really always felt sorry for those horses because they were kept in stalls and didn't really get out. And so I wasn't really too happy with that and at one stage I even decided that I cannot do that any longer. Right I felt it's just not right. I feel these horses are just caged in, so I actually decided to ask neighbors of us who had two Icelandic ponies out in their pasture. My girlfriend and I we asked them if we could just take care of them. And so we just started grooming them and we were dreaming of being able to ride them or even have our own ponies and ride out and through on trail rides and things like that. Which wasn't possible, those neighbors wouldn't let us you know, they liked us cleaning up their horses that were sometimes in summer really covered in mud and they even said, yeah, it's nice to have a clean horse in the morning when we go horse riding but they never let us ride, like after a year of grooming these horses a couple of times a a week, you know they let us, I think ride once or so, but, so we were dreaming obviously of riding our ponies or riding out there and. But I still felt it was better grooming these ice landing ponies that they were actually living out in pasture and they didn't have the perfect life either but I felt they were definitely happier than those lesson horses and we spent hours, we spent hours out in pasture, sometimes really covered in mud ponies. Icelandic they really have a big winter coat right. It's like this thick winter code, like hair all over and then when they roll in mud and it drys it literally takes you hours to clean them up and we cleaned everything and we never tied them anywhere. We just were following them on pasture, just with them, we were part of that tiny herd that we had there and we were just In love with these horses. There was a dog that was really neglected from these neighbors. So we had this dog around us. That dog was always happy to be with us as well. So we had our little herd, the five of us, these two horses and my friend and I, and the dog. So we had this little herd and it was a little, like a paradise, right, that was our paradise. And we both had trouble with our parents, which probably every teenager had and you know, not that easy background for both of us. So that was our little paradise being with the horses and I think really looking back. I think horses saved me because it was not that easy you know, my childhood. So it always gave me this sense of there is something to look forward to, there is connection, there is being in nature. There is something to live for basically and so I think that definitely it saved me in my teenage years, especially this time with these Icelands and this idea of, okay, horses are something that I can always go to and my pets, I only had like guine pigs and budgies, you know like little animals myself, but I love them dearly. Cause I felt I was really able to be with them, they understood me, I did not feel understood by humans much, but I felt understood by the animals and it took me a long time to actually start loving humans too. I think, you know, for the longest time I felt like, okay, I can talk with animals. I can feel them, I can be with them, I love connecting with them. I feel there's a mutual understanding there and it took me really a long time to have that same feeling with humans. So yeah, it was, it was a process. I felt a little bit an outsider at school and things like that. So yeah, I think it's also the way they shape you, where you feel, yes, you need to be clear about what you want but also can have this loving and kind connection at the same time. So I think that's really what shaped me as a person. Definitely when I was a kid.

Ronnie:

And that shows dedication, because if you are going to groom somebody else's horse for a year, of course you want to have a ride on them, that's your dream. So that shows dedication and the horses would've felt that as well, because otherwise you'd, of got bored and not gone. They're very therapeutic, people can be therapeutic as well but we have stuff that gets in the way animals are just what you see is what you get. Yes, they have their own things going on in life just as we do but they're authentic and they're real at that moment and I think if we remember that, what we see in that split second is what we are confronted with. Sometimes from my own experience, with my own mare even when I've thought I'm okay and I am okay. There may be something coming to the surface that I need to address and sometimes it's not something that's you know what it is, it's old emotions or old things coming to the surface. I describe it like bubbles they float up and she can push my buttons and if I'm not looking at it in the way I should be looking at it, I can get wound up but then all of a sudden I get it and it's like B and I either burst out laughing, or I maybe have a few tears or I can get crossed for a few seconds and then it's like, that's what that is. And then she almost looks at me just to say, thank goodness for that and walks off. I love cuddling her I'm quite a tactile person and sometimes she's not in the mood and I'll go, can I just have a little cuddle and she almost looks at me sideways, just say, well, you can cuddle me cause I'm busy and it's so funny because they have a free will, they should have you know, they should have an opinion but they don't always get the choice. It is getting better. Because we have an agenda, even when we say we don't, there's always some kind of agenda, even if it's we want them to fill void sometimes. So, you know, the fact that if your horses do most of the things that you ask of them but they have a few off days then so what, so be it, we should allow that and be okay with that. I'm not talking about safety issues, when a horse has got to a point where it really is doing things that you need to pay attention to, that's when you need to reflect back and say, okay, the signs have been there a long time. What am I doing? What am I not doing? And look at yourself first, before you look at your horse. Cause if you don't deal with your own insecurities, your own things that pop up, and it's not always issues, it's just addressing yourself. Then you know, you can't go to your horse and address that unless you address your own things that pop up, but they're forever teaching us and we are forever learning. When you think you've got it, you can guarantee something else will come along, you think? Okay, okay.

Carla:

I think that's, that's really amazing how they help us develop ourselves and I think that's such a beautiful thing in a human life where we can't strive for improving ourselves and, and the self development and the horses are the mirrors and I always find that the horses, it is beautiful to communicate with horses, but we should also learn how to really communicate with people from that. I oftentimes see people that love their horses and have a really good connection to the horses, but they are in a way also staying a bit in that bubble because they feel safe with their animals and then they don't wanna take that step out and really communicate and connect to people in the same way because as you were saying, we feel safe with the animals because we feel that they have to kind of love us right in a way and so we feel safer around them and they probably won't hurt us, at least not on purpose. So I feel that from this learning that we have with the horses, we have to also take that into our communication with people right. We have to learn about ourselves and then see, okay, what is it in me that might even be in the way of really connecting and opening to other people? I always find that one of the biggest task for us as people, which is not that easy to do. We need to be open like openhearted and that's not easy to do because we are afraid of the things that are coming our way, we've had experiences our in our lives, where we were hurt and then we are creating this wall, we are building this wall around us and we don't really want to let anyone near and then we let the animals in and we start opening to the animals, which is wonderful way of learning this and it's really like an energetic opening as well, right? It's not just something that you do from your head, it' something where you start trusting, you start opening, you start communicating, you start being clear, also clear about your boundaries. You learn all these things with the horses and then you can take that to really communicating with people. What I always find with horses is that they can be openhearted and very grounded at the same time. People oftentimes think, okay, I have to have clear boundaries, I have to be grounded and then we're pushing people away and we also feel like, oh, now I'm pushing people away when we are closed and we are pushing them away, all I'm openhearted and I'm all soft and I'm all connected. I want to hug everybody and then you might end up a doormat. Right? And then you get into the frustration of being that doormat or being taken advantage of and then you drop back into, oh, I have to be clear about my boundaries. So we tend to switch back and forth and the horses are both, they can go like, Hey, come on, move away from my, Hey, now I wanna eat and then they start eating and next moment they are best friends again, plus they're actually staying in that connectedness at all times. Even this like belly to belly, kind of, oh, come on this is my hair. Even that doesn't cut the connection, right? It's still a connection in the herd. Where people oftentimes feel that when we are setting boundaries or when we are a little clearer that we are creating like this cut and cutting of the connection. So I find that's something that we can really learn from the horses and see how that works, especially when the horses don't behave the way we wanted them, how we can stay very grounded. Very centered, very clear. We say you know, you cannot step on my foot, right? yeah, this is my foot and you do not step on this foot right. So be clear about this, but then again, be really kind at the same time and not getting into anger and frustration and get stuck in this emotion by being more fluid with these emotions. So I think that's really something that we can learn from the horses and then really take into the communication with other people, learning, to stay open with other people and connecting and yes sometimes wants to step on our foot as well. We might have to say no, no, no, no, no. This is my foot, right, you're not stepping on my foot, but you can also do this in a clear way but without losing the connection without closing off again, without hiding behind this wall that we tend to create in.

Ronnie:

A phrase came to my mind as you were talking, we like to use the phrase that we love animals because they love us unconditionally, yes they do but we should do that to ourselves. Mm-hmm but we don't because we are afraid of being hurt or afraid of looking silly or afraid of somebody's opinion if it doesn't match yours, then you feel like you've got to Explain yourself. If we pulled back from saying, well, actually this is who I am, I make no apologies. I like you and I love you for who you are but this is me. We don't have to be the same but we can have a mutual understanding and that's what, as you said earlier, horses do, they can be having teeth fights rearing up on the back legs in the field and the next thing they shown the same blade of grass in the field. You do get situations where horses can't be together, but I think a lot of that's come from influences and how they've lived and lots of other things, not everything is the same, there's gonna be variations, but generally horses want to be in a herd, they want to be part of the herd even if they're the other side of the field, they are still connected. They are still communicating the whole time. If you ever watch horses, there can be in lots of different fields eating away and you're busy doing what you are doing and the next thing one will start snoozing and the other start snoozing and sometimes they're facing the same direction and they just have a snooze, they're all interlinked with each other. The same thing can happen when you're doing communication and I'm sure you've experienced the similar thing. Once you are doing energy, anything to do with energy and you're in that That right frequency, the horses feel that so it can be body workers, it can be anybody you can have. Just somebody stood next to a horse and if their energy's in the right frequency, the horse is link in with that and they can get rest from that experience as well. And so do we if we are aware of it, you can just have these beautiful moments where you are in this nothingness but it's so, it's so rewarding, it's so lovely. But it's not something that you can always explain in words and pictures but you can feel it, you can feel it. If you was practicing doing this and you have that nice experiences when life sometimes takes you back down your old pathway, your old routine, you notice the pull away of the horses. So the horse may come to you but there's a different feeling. That's how I explain it, there's a different feeling with that.

Carla:

I think it's really also important to really make sure that we stay authentic. Right. Mm-hmm and that we really stay true with the emotion that we are feeling that moment, because some people say you have to leave your emotions at the barn door, and then you, you know, have to be all Zen when you come to your horses and you know first of all, that's probably not going to happen and secondly, what it does is we are putting up a facade and then behind this, we are still angry, frustrated, stress, whatever, sad, whatever right and the horses feel that mismatch and then they might even turn away even more, so really being clear about your emotions and what you are feeling. I think that makes such a huge difference, not just in communication with the horses, but with people as well, like being clear and sometimes we even think we are okay, but then we really go inside we feel like oh, I'm actually not okay I'm just really sad right now or something, or I feel really frustrated. And so first of all, becoming clear about what we are feeling and where that might be coming from also tracing it back a little bit to see what exactly frustrated me and how did that happen? Like understanding ourselves better. And then when we see the horses staying authentic with this feeling and going to see our horses and then maybe changing your plan, right? Maybe you will not practice your Western dressage test or something that day when you feel like you are all like kind of stressed or you're really angry or frustrated anyway. So maybe you are not going to practice something where you feel that could get you even more into frustration, but maybe you change your plan and go like, okay. How about just hanging out with my horses today, out in pasture but then really going to them and allowing them to feel what you're feeling. Where you go like, oh, I'm really stressed. I'm really not up for anything right now. You know, I'm in this everybody leave me alone space and then maybe just stay in a corner of the pasture and just observe them. I find that when you are in that the horses will respond. You give them some space to actually respond to that in certain ways and they will bring more clarity to you what you are actually feeling right when you are in that corner of the pasture and then you thought you are feeling angry but then maybe your horse comes in close and gently and then you start bursting out in tears and you feel like, oh wow I actually felt sad, it wasn't even anger, I felt sadness underneath. Right and your horse kind of pulled that out of you, where your horse was like, oh, you know what what's happening right. It kind of pulls it out of you without you having to tell them and, you know, they might sometimes also like come over and just give you a little push with their head or something like that but oftentimes they are really communicating something to us or they might, as you were saying, maybe turn around and move away. And we might again take that personally and go like, oh my God, my horse does not love me either right no one loves me and we might go down that rabbit hole but if we really just look at the motions and not take it personally and see it more as a reflection, as some kind of feedback on things that we need to feel inside of us. Then I think that can be a fantastic way of being, and being taught by our horses also, what these feelings, what these emotions are about and what are they doing to us? Right. Sometimes emotions are doing something to us because we are not aware of what's happening and then we are just victim of all the triggers that get pushed throughout the day and then we're just responding and we are not clear about what's happening with us and we are not really authentic with our feelings and I think that's what the horses really pick up on. Like when you are not authentic, you know, where are you? You know, they always wanna know where you are so.

Ronnie:

That was lovely Carla absolutely and they want to know that we can deal with it, because if we can't deal with it, how can we help them if we get into a situation and that's what they're looking for too. They're looking for, okay I can rely on that person. You know, she's been true, but she's still steadfast. If you all over the place and your emotions are so open down, then as a person you'd be thinking, well, I'm not gonna rely on that person, so why would it be any different to a horse. I'm just gonna see if anybody wants to ask any questions. There's a few viewers, which is lovely to have you here. If you've got any questions for Carla or myself, please feel free to send us a message. Celia popped on, hi Celia, she said, hello ladies. Thank you very much. So I know Celia. So I do a group meeting and we do a meditation. The meditations that we do in the groups they're not planned meditations, I just sit down and whatever flows through, we just relax together and each one of us will get different things. We talk about it afterwards to see where our meditations take us. It's lovely and when I first used to do those I would say, oh, I can't meditate, I don't wanna sit there cause my mind starts to go cha chat so I I've got into the habit of it now. I don't overthink it, literally sit down and then I have an inkling of where it's going and sometimes it may change and then the words just flow but that's just connecting to your in a sense, inner knowing and because I know that's gonna happen, I trust it's gonna happen, it happens. If we trusted things will happen in the horse world and believed in it, it would happen too. We just have to let go of the but what's the outcome gonna be? What is it gonna be. Sometimes we have too much emphasis on expectations of what is it going to be? What would it look like rather than thinking, okay, this is what I feel I need to do now, this is what I feel I need to do in this moment and just take those moments because it's that trusting in your self and trusting in your horse, that connection of it will be okay and if it's not okay taking it in stages, baby steps. Where are you today, Carla what's your future plans, what have you got coming in the pipeline.

Carla:

So, yeah, I live near San Francisco in the San Francisco bay area now and have been for almost 11 years and I love my life in California, it's just a beautiful place to be and I have lovely clients that I work with in person and on zoom and internationally, like people from Australia, people from Japan and people from around the corner as well in the same zoom classes. So that really always keeps me excited and then I've just signed up for another training that I'm excited about, which is using the neuroscience to to really improve writing and improve rider. So I'm excited about this and I will put a lot of energy and time into really doing that. Cause I always find these bits and pieces add to what I'm already doing. And I've got really thought through program and really step by step program already. And it's working and people are happy about it, but you know I do not well with routine, so I cannot do the same thing over and over and over. I always need like new ideas and really fine tuning things and making things even easier for people and making the aha moments even bigger. So I'm always working on these things. I'm very excited about this training that I'm going to take, I feel that, that's a little like a missing piece, not a missing piece but an extra piece that can connect other things that I'm already doing. Yeah excited about this and just loving my work, I really just love working with people and horses and getting them together and have them communicate with each other and feeling it's helping the people that's also helping the horses.

Ronnie:

Absolutely. Absolutely. So, is there any plans for you to visit the UK any time in the future?

Carla:

Not at this stage I've got flights book to Germany for Christmas and I might also fly to Germany for the training that I've just signed up for. I have not planned to go to the UK but you never know, I'm open to traveling and I'm open to teaching clinics and other places I've obviously taught in Europe quite a bit. And I teach in, in California quite a lot, but no plan so far, but I've been to the UK a few times and I love the country and I think it's great to be there.

Ronnie:

It'd be nice to go back to Germany and to visit. Where are your family based now?

Carla:

They're all in Germany. My husband came with me when we moved here. So he's German as well but all the other members of our family are still in Germany and I don't have a huge extended family or anything, it's small but still, I love staying in touch with them.

Ronnie:

So do you have your own horse?

Carla:

I don't right now because I had a wrench in Germany and when I decided to move we actually sold that ranch I think I had it for almost 15 years and I had four horses most of the time and then horses to train, etc and when we decided to move, I had to find places for my horses and for my cats and because I knew I wanted to go abroad, I couldn't take them. That was tough, that was really heartbreaking. I found good places for them but in a way I'm a bit shying away from going through that again. And, you know I'm also finding that I'm really good at creating connection to horses that I do not own. Right I'm riding a friends horse right now and I'm have a really fun time with that horse and that's just beautiful to connect with them and then I connect with my clients horses and or when I'm teaching. Sometimes it's just these short moments when I'm teaching and I feel and connect to the horse that is been ridden, the rider still on them but I feel that connection to them and where they really start trusting me and I sometimes hear them say can you do something about, you know, my riders balance. You know, it's almost like they are grateful that they feel that I want to help their riders but that I'm going to help them as well. So I feel that there is a lot of connection going on through that. So right now I don't really feel the need to have my own horse and that might change in the future, but right now it just feels good the way it is right now.

Ronnie:

And you don't have to own a horse to experience the benefits of what a lot of people benefit. I remember as a child, I did a similar thing to you, I would go to the local riding schools or anywhere there was a horse in a field, I would go watch the horses. In fact, when I first moved to the area, I came down for the work and I went to the local place and I I got to groom a very big old horse bless him and that, that was such a treat, just being around horses, it was lovely. So yeah, you don't have to have horses but they certainly have an impact. And of course there's lots of therapies with horses now you know, you have disability riding, also therapy where you are present with the horses and that's an amazing thing to see as well. I hope you get to come and visit maybe next year, that would, that would be nice.

Carla:

Yeah. Yeah we would love to come visit the UK. Yeah I'm always in Europe at least once a year, to see my family and I have clients in Denmark as well and other places that I still sometimes see, but yeah I love traveling, so yeah who knows?

Ronnie:

We've got a question from Terryll Cole.

Carla:

Question? I had a bad experience with my mare, I was on the ground with her and she spooked and she ran over me. She's a 17 hand thourghabred I'm pretty frightened to handle her outside of her stall and turn out. I'm a subscriber to Warwick Schiller site and adhere to the philosophy of Susan Fay. I meditate and breathe but I can't stop the anxious feelings when I handle her, any recommendations? Yes you know when we had accidents like this and actually lots of people come to me because they have had some sort of accident and then we lose the confidence that we had before and it's not that easy to really find it back. Be it in the saddle or also being on the ground. Yeah, there are different things that you can do where you really find a grounded position, that's a physical position as well and it's going to take us a little too far today but I do free online trainings where I actually talk more about this. So when you go to my website, you'll actually also find the next free online training where I'm going to talk about, you know, how can I get my center position in my body and what can I do to work with tension etc and breathing techniques and things like that. So you know, my website, the intuitive rider.com. you will find this, the free online training, where I can go more into detail but yeah, you know these are really things where we have to reprogram ourselves in a way, and we have to really find out how we can stay in this centeredness and groundedness in the first place but on the other hand, also staying connected with the horse, right? Because sometimes the worry and the anxiety it creates that disconnection obviously because we are pulling back, we're not really trusting anymore and they obviously feel that as well so there's a little bit of this mismatch there. So really getting yourself into a centeredness and groundedness but on the other hand Also praising, what I sometimes find you know, just a quick answer here but what I sometimes find is that when you make sure that you are praising them for whatever little thing they're doing well, when you're really going like, good girl you know, that was beautiful and really like, meaning it so that you can switch yourself out of this being held back when you go ah, yeah that was a nice moment. Looking more for the moments where it is actually happening, where she leaves you enough room and where you feel, you know she does what you ask her to do and you praise her and really from the bottom of your heart where you mean it that you say, oh, that was good and that felt good as a connection, as teamwork between the two of you. So there's not a really quick fix and really quick answer for this right now, but there's grounding yourself on the one hand, but on the other hand, staying open in that connection and praising the horses and really meaning it can sometimes switch these dynamics around because sometimes we develop dynamics with our horses when something has happened, where we are holding back, they are holding back and want to switch that dynamic around and even praising little things can be a start, where you find the joy again. It's also killing the joy when this anxiety is always in the background, when you find that joy again, these moments where you feel it's really nice and it's really working and all of that.

Ronnie:

Yeah some of it would be a natural protection to make sure you're thinking before you do something again, after that experiences registered in your brain but it is sometimes hard to shift. Through my own experiences, it was going on for quite a few years, my own insecurities when I was able to I had jelly legs I could not physically get on, it was just so draining and I've had people come out and help me and they've done what I've asked but I've always known that there's something in me, you know, it's almost like I've got on my horse and as long as I do that every day I'll be okay but if I don't do it for few days, it's back again. I thought, I need to shift this and it was through a friend that works with mind she does lots of different modules and we just moved the block but it wasn't actually anything to do, yes. I had fallen off my horse, which triggered something but it was through my mom being protective, that it stemmed from there. Once we dealt with that and I didn't have to know the ins and outs, I just know it shifted after the exercises we did together.

Carla:

Really a good idea to know yourself, that's the thing that we talked about earlier, know where these things are coming from, where the emotions are coming from and understanding yourself, it's also really great to then take tiny little baby steps. When people, after an accident, when they've come off the horses, for instance, I just ask them, after a while, when they've physically recovered I might just be holding the horse or ask someone to hold the horse and the person just mounting, just the act of mounting, just sitting there with someone, holding the horse, which is totally safe and just feeling your breathing and connecting again. And then you get off again. You don't even do much and next time you might have someone lead you so that you can by baby step by baby, build that confidence back. Right. And with small save steps that you're taking, where you feel, okay, this is something where I feel safe and then you build up on that.

Ronnie:

Absolutely yeah I did baby steps when I eventually got on. I got my mare to come up to a barrel and put my leg over and then off and that was all I did for ages and then the next thing was to sit on her and then to get off, to sit on her, to get off. And then she almost turned around and looked at me and say, are you getting on a what? And I was like, oh, she's looking at me, she's looking at me, does she want me to get on? And then it was like course she wants you to get on and then it was like, wow and it was like winning the lottery but to have an accident, you can totally understand Terryll experience and why she feels that. She just said thank you so much, I will definitely go to your website and sign up yay.

Carla:

Looking forward to seeing you there.

Ronnie:

Don't worry. We've all been there and yeah you will get through this just be patient with yourself and get the right help. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about before we go, is there anything else that you'd like to mention.

Carla:

Maybe just mention where people can find me, as I said, it's on the intuitive rider.com as the website and I've got a little quiz on there. It says where are you at on your journey as a horse rider? And when you take that quiz, you'll get some insights on where you are at and you'll also get a free video training from me when you do that. So if people wanna get in touch with me, that's the best way to do that and you can just go via the website, just email me, I'd be happy to answer questions or communicate in one way or the other.

Ronnie:

I think your website's at the bottom of this video. I'll normally attach websites, Facebook groups. People can go straight to you Carla. Well it is been really lovely chatting with Carla I feel like we've just scratched the surface though. I would love to have you back sometime in the future, if you are up for that.

Carla:

Absolutely. I would love to, I really enjoyed speaking with you and with everybody who's been listening yeah.

Ronnie:

Oh, that's lovely and you'll have some more experiences from the extra learning that you are, you are doing. And if you want to bring a client, you are more than welcome and we can chat with your client too. Sometimes it's nice to get a perspective from people that you're dealing with because They can explain it in their terms as well, which is always lovely to hear from clients. I think you said quite a lot actually and everything's on your website, so people can go there and find out more information about you and exactly what you do and how to go about enrolling on your courses and things. So if you'd like to say goodbye.

Carla:

Yes thank you so much, Ronnie. Thanks for having me and thanks for everybody who was listening to this.

Ronnie:

So if you just stay in the back room and then I'll chat with you afterwards, so you don't dissapear. What a lovely, lovely lady really enjoyed that, definitely feeling like we've just scratched the surface. It was lovely chatting with Carla, thank you for the people that commented and asked questions and for the viewers, it makes a big difference to myself and to my guests because they give their time to come and chat, cause that's what it is, it's an informal chat. So have a lovely week wherever you are in the world. Thank you for joining me, take care. Bye for now.